Those first two lines are beautifully effective - so much atmosphere created with just a few words, it's what I admire the most about your writing, I think.
i think, with a "shiver" you've arrived, Lisa. even though 'quiver' had an obviously nervous meaning, there was always the shadow of those arrows within it.
I'm done with the silly little thing. I'm trying to gear myself up for "works-in-progress" open mike and read this one and "China." For some reason, I'm always surprised what things need to be changed when you're trying to read something out loud. I like the meaning of the word "quiver" better, but it's near impossible to say and still sound good.
even though 'quiver' had an obviously
nervous meaning, there was always the
shadow of those arrows within it.